Some Time On Earth (Or Something Like Earth)

Friday, July 14, 2006

Prognostications 5

(It's a joke, folks, don't turn me in to the SS)

Sadly, the world's most famous duck hunter outside of Porky Pig, Elmer Fudd and Justice Anthony Scalia will be unable to complete his duties or term as Vice President. The Senate will rubberstamp George's surprise appointee, Dan Quayle,
to the position. To everyone's disbelief and horror, George is quickly removed from office and James Danforth Quayle becomes the 44th President of The United States. His veep choice rubberstamped by the Senate is ultrafundamentalist biblethumpin' Senator Sam Brownback.

Leaky pipes in Redmond alert

Microsoft will not have a Mac version of Office 07. No need. Office 07 can be run on the new Macs under XP using either Boot Camp or a third party virtulization emulator, like Parallels Desktop for Mac. By 2008, Microsoft will have shaken up, reorganised or shut down its Mac applications division.

Hee Haw Hee Haw

Amazing. At Ken Lay's funeral, his lawyer had prepared a quote with a perfect historical reference, that not even a good Democrat could recall off-hand, or would probably want to, now that I think about it. Hmmm, well there certainly were a lot of GOP at that service, including The Chief Idiot.
Funny, George seems to recall he WAS Ken Lay's jolly good friend, now that Ken is dead. Way to go George!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Forget Microsoft's iPod killer, for now

Okay, my drunk sources are back in town. And those rumours you've heard about Microsoft's wireless answer to the iPod, well, it's not going to be ready for Christmas, so it's back to wait and see next year. They want to make it a Vista ready device, so think April '07 (yeah, right). By that time, Apple C's wireless iPod will have been saturating the market. They've had the patent for the device for, what, a year, now?

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

How Ken Lay finally got away with it ....

Ah, but you can't take it with you . No HVAC in Hades , Ken, say hello to al-Zarqawi while you're down there!

Sunday, July 02, 2006

How to get a leg up on Microsoft this Christmas

Novel has got a great OS with SLED 10 and its Open Suse companion. If ever there was a Linux OS that has a real decent shot at becoming THE desktop OS distro to dent Microsoft and Apple, this IS it. The best way to capture the minds(hare) and hearts of America and world:
1.) Fix the RPM/YaST. Now, dammit! That has to work flawlessly, invisibly, no crashes, no problems. at all.
2.)Arrange an OEM deal. H-P. Lenovo. Dell. Anybody and everyone. There has to be a pre-installed SLED box for people to buy and see work.
3.)Have an EXCELLENT support staff ready to handle all customer queries and problems concerning SLED. Don't outsource overseas - keep it local/regional, if at all possible. Hire enthusiastic people for the job and keep 'em fresh and not overworked or bored.
4.)Buy Apple-like advertising. Sell SLED like it is the coolest thing ever. Offer to go halfsies with OEM partner(s) promoting SLED/Open Suse boxes. Sell ads promoting out of box software/downloads/support but make it look easy, cool, stylish, attractive. Show Michael Robinson how it's done.
5.)Buy license for iTunes/QuickTime for SLED. Sure it'll drive RMS nuts, and make Berens wag his finger, but you're selling an experience - and Apple won't say no if it means a new revenue stream.